the day has come when you came back from work and unlike before although i was asleep i can feel my eyes enlighted coz finally you’re here beside me. what i feel right now is exactly the opposite. what i have is this silent wrath i’ve been containing for the past few months. i blame myself for procastinating this senseless togetherness coz until now i still believe in us and honestly i found the contentment of my restless spirit in you. but i blame you for creating the monster out of me. those emotional torture on a daily basis made me an insecure, stupid, dramatic bitch i could ever be.

stop convincing me to leave you coz believe me if i only could i’ll do it right away without saying one word. it’s just that i’m fucking stuck in this deep hole shit that was once a dream come true, like a fairytale’s happy ending you’ve once promised me.

and please stop telling me that i should be happy and contented because i have this good paying job, this is not the reason why i moved here in california. this is not the happiness i am looking for. this is not the “good life” as you would define it.

and also please please stop badmouthing/elaborating those stupid one liners like “malabo na kami” or “hindi pa kami ULIT ni xoxoxoxo“. it’s just plain stupid. can’t you see mukha na nga akong tanga dahil nagtitiis parin ako sayo, nagmumukha pa akong kawawa dahil sa mga sinasabi mo sa kanila.

this is the old kathy talking.

this is the day:
* i made a fuckin’ smooth leche flan after 4 hours of cooking it!
* i realized that i’m really a control freak and dude i’m really sorry.
* i noticed that my myspace account had been stagnant for 2 years.
* i neglected few important things/persons and missed a lot of events by just browsing friends in myspace.
* i decided to update my life as well.
* i suddenly miss italian food. i miss the bronx!!!!!