there’s always a memory that you would do anyting just to have it again
but like a spilled milk or a word uttered
you cannot take it back.

* Shet! pano ba mawala ang insecurity sa katawan. pano ko ba isa-psych itong sarili ko para di nko mag-suffer sa “tinkerbell syndrome” (wala pong ganon, imbento ko lang yan)

*Sobrang mamimiss ko ang people sa Einstein ER, kahit toxic toxican tayo carry parin ntin wehehe.

*Sana lang talaga magkaron ng stable job sa California, sana sure na sure na or else babalik ako d2 sa NY for the holidays..

*Lintek! ang hirap kumita ng pera, sumasakit na yung lordosis kakatrabaho. Ang pera talaga, ang hirap kitain ang bilis gastusin.

*Sana maipasa ko yung road test! Kakahiya. malapit nko mag 23 wala parin akong driver’s license, wish wish wish wish…

*Another birthday to come. As usual, cold birthday nanaman ito. Nothing special tulad ng mga nakaraang years na di ko feel na birthday ko.

*Miss ko na ang mga osobots. I’m happy kasi lahat kami professional na, naks! hehe. Yung isang oso jan di man lang nagpaparamdam nasa Texas na pala. Life is so incomplete w/o you guys. Miss ko na kapag tinatwag nyo akong MOMMY!!! hehe

*Ok naman yung year 2007 ko. Madaming nangyari, madaming natutunan, madaming na-experience at napuntahan. I’m not expecting that much for 2008, sana lang maging steady na yung buhay ko. Sobrang pagod na kasi sa mala- rollercoaster ride na pamumuhay. Sana dynamic parin pero di na chaotic.

*Watch out for my Xmas wishlst part 3… 1 month to go xmas na.,

just don’t apologize if you didn’t really mean it

Exactly a year ago, same time, same place i’m thinking.. pondering what lies beneath. what will be my first job as an RN be like. I considered my first job as a blessing coz it saved me and my dad’s ass. The first paycheck was sweet and although we’re a bit drowned financially it really helped a lot.

The first few months were horrible, there are people that really want to test my capacity and push me to my limits. Some, yeah i agree, made me almost quit my job. In those months i prayed hard. I prayed to God not only to be a good nurse but just not to make a single error again (of course, when you pray, you should make it specific). I spent some nights hanging out at Barnes and Noble reading some nursing books coz i know that my knowledge and experience were inadequate and Emergency Room is cruel enough to devour me whole. Those classes at 3331 Steuben Ave. helped a lot too, I’ve learned a lot especially the “why’s” and “how’s” of being a real nurse.

Day by day I’m learning, new experiences, new challenges come my way. After few months, I developed my own technique, my own ways and means, especially on how to approach some certain conflict that will come my way until i can finally say that i can be independent. And that word independent comes with professionalism, responsibilty and hard work which cannot be obtained in one day.

After a year, same time, same place i’m thinking, pondering what lies beneath, what will be my next job be like. What will be my life be like in a different setting, in a different place and different time zone, now that i will do what i really want. Really really want. Not because i have to, but because it makes me happy.