susmaryosep… nashoshokotz talaga ako dahil ilang araw nalang nclex ko na. waaaaaaaaaa!!! pero bago ako mag panic attack e binisita ko muna yung examination site ko para di ako maligaw sa Saturday dahil magsa-subway lang ako papunta dito.

100 William Street New York, New York Suite 1200

Goodluck sakin sana pumasa ako. I’ve been doing well naman sa mga practice test ko pero sana medyo sapat na yun haaay. Idedemanda ko si Linda Anne Silvestri kapag di ako pumasa hehe.

It’s been a year na pala simula nung nagmigrate ako dito. It’s been hard (and dramatic too) but what can i do? i need to move on. So i told myself if i’ll be able pass this exam, bilib nako sa sarili ko.. kumbaga milestone na ito ko. har har! but seriously.. i can’t imagine myself failing this exam. not bec mayabang ako ha.. but because for me there’s no Plan B and that Plan B is "What if bumagsak ako" WAAAAA!!! AYOKO NUN!! WALANG GANUN.  i hope.. at saka i’m not doing this for myself.. i’m doing this for my mom para madala ko na sya dito or madala ko naman sya uli sa Disney (Euro or sa Japan naman) and for my dad na napaka egoistic and ambitious na akala e pag naipasa ko itong exam na ito e magiging milyonarya na ako. Sus! ang daming pressure! E kung ako lang ang masusunod next year pa ko mageexam at magtitiis muna ako sa pagwe-waitress o kaya kukuha ako ng limited permit for RN para for 1 year habang nag-rereview ako e kumikita na ko ng pera para makaalis na ako dito sa bahay at makalipat sa borough ng Manhattan o kaya lumipat ng ibang State (Miami- para may beach o kaya California para may social life naman ako dahil wala akong kakilala dito masyado).

Sana next blog ko good news wish wish wish…

i really thought my mind would work after devouring caramel popcorn and orange juice. i thought that the reason behind the sluggishness of my brain cells is the chronic use of splenda which deprives me of essensial glucose. hay.. i dunno.. still lots of review books to finish. i promised myself that after the nclex i’m gonna open my new book i bought from barnes n noble. it’s a detective- ish kind of book, quite unpopular but i fell in love w/ it hehe. btw it’s only $8 and it’s hardcover. but i also promised myself not to open it yet so i can concentrate reviewing for the exam.

it’s kinda weird to post the title coz as i remember i have a blog entry before needing valium so i can sleep and now it’s exactly the opposite. am i so complicated? i guess.

another day had passed…

I woke up feelin’ tired today probably bcoz of the mai tai consumed last night. Don’t get me wrong.. i’m not a drunkard. Actually i have a very low tolerance for alcohol, as evidenced by temporal-carotid-apical palpitations, dyspnea, rashes from the face down to extremities, erythema, lethargy and other asthmatic attack-like symptoms after consuming few ounces of fancy alcoholic drinks. I just drink occasionally, and when i say ‘occasionally’, there must be an occassion goin’ on  or else i wouldn’t.

Last night i bid farewell (nah.. just a temporary goodbye) to my so- called freedom for i have to impose restrictions a.k.a. discipline in my study habits. I promised myself that starting August 1 there’s no more going out and I’m gonna spend majority of the day studying for my incoming NCLEX. I’m so stupid that I just started studying last July.. I should’ve studied A YEAR AGO. But enough of regrets.. i had fun though hehe.

Today is August 1 and it’s already 11 a.m. and i’m still here online. I’m running out of time but I still have the mindset. Goodluck to me.