my dad just got me this one… adidas climacool revolution. pwede narin. it’s mesh, breatheable, the one that i have is color light onix and purple, not bad for $90. but I still want nike shox respond ($150)

Nike shox respond

1. I tend not to look in the eyes of the one I’m talking to, though i’m really telling the truth.

2. I’m materialistic… in a nice way

3. Taking a bath and dressing up will take me 1.5 hours… minimum.

4. I’d rather be called uncool, anti- social or sarcastic than to praise someone i didn’t like. Sorry but I hate kissing ass.

5. I can’t tolerate chain letters, chain emails and "please-pass-this-txt-to-10-people-or-else…" text messages.

6. I will not start a conversation unless you’re my CLOSE friend.

7. I get bored easily. Mind you, it really does shows on my face.

8. I’m the most fickle minded person you’ll ever know.

9. I look snobbish coz i’m really a snob.

10. Give me 10 seconds and I can enumerate 10 things I hate about you.

I miss them and i miss working (and earning money too!) Well i guess they will just be a part of my colorful year 2005.

I also miss the sushi w/ a spanish twist

daddy: anak, bili moko ng softdrinks

anak: baka o manok??

In God’s time.

The first time i heard these words was when my batchmates from other section held a seminar in which the topic i already forgot and Mr. Michael Jimenez was one of the guest speakers. "In God’s time" he said. Those words were absorbed by my half- asleep mind that time, yeah.. half- asleep coz i’m sleepless editing our final thesis paper for submission. Yet, those words inspired me, sort of.

Months later, miles away from MY HOME, on one fuckin’, ‘boringest’, damned and hateful day a.k.a. TODAY, i saw those words again here in friendster bulletin.

In God’s time.

People just didn’t know what ‘crisis’ i’m into right now: emotionally, mentally, physically and financially. I’ve been struggling to live everyday. Okay, i might sound OVERREACTING but that’s how i really feel. People i’m with right now might not notice i’m really dying inside day by day. NO one will ever understand this anguish inside me coz they’re not in my shoes.

I want a life of my own, free from whatever ‘bad vibes’ and ‘elements’ that would emotionally scorch my narrow temper, a life without ‘forces’ that brainwash me of what a GOOD LIFE should be and would change my own definition of HAPPINESS.

I never thought living here would be this complicated. I always blame that COMPLICATEDNESS to myself for I have been obnoxious and extremely curious and ‘adventurous’ coz i easily get bored. I hate myself for my I-want-it-all-this-time-now-na attitude. But as i ponder, it’s not me, it is the ONE who manipulates my life, the one who’s playing god all this time and the one who’s acting like my boss for my 21 years of existence, treating me as a commodity / INVESTMENT.

Who says i wanna be a nurse? Who says that i wanna live here in Big Apple? Who says that after i become a nurse, i will be a nurse- anesthesiologist who will earn 200 grands a year? Who says that i should marry someone that will not be a "palamunin" (like him?) and i should get a man who earns more than i will. Who says that i should travel around the world? Whoelse but him.

There are times i wanna freak out and tell the ones concerned about the REAL SCORE of the game he made. He should be the leading actor in the film LIAR! LIAR! and not Jim Carrey.

I want to move out of this house for some reasons but i just have $2000 in the bank and my BSN education, i don’t have FEET yet to walk out… no wings yet to boast… just guts… plain guts, which sometimes hide behind my throat. I"M ONLY ME– right now, nothing more.

Right now, all i can do is be KATHERINE, the girl who is just starting, swallowing her pride because she have nothing, spending most of her time at craigslist looking for a job but actually can’t work coz her dad says it’s dangerous to work at night. Duh! as if the Philippines is a safe place to live. If he only knew what I’ve been into. All i can do is be myself, here inside my room (actually not my room, just borrowed it) bored, lifeless and unproductive not to mention UNSOCIABLE.

Speaking of unsociable, the heck!!!! I will not spend my precious time talking or making friends with the ones i didn’t like or those who didn’t like me either. Puta! Yoko ng plastic! Di lang kayo ang tao dito sa NY so okay lang na di nyo ako kausapin o kaibiganin. Wa ko care!!!! I’ve got friends anyway.. yeah right!

Sentiments, sentiments. I’m sorry that all i can do is to blah all my sentiments here in my blog. This is where i get ‘relief’… sensya na.

One day, I WILL BE HAPPY. IN GOD’S TIME.

B  A  G  O  T !!!

Haaaay, jobless for two weeks. I’m fcukin’ bored in the house, i have a LOT of time but i ain’t doin’ anything productive… oh wait! i cleaned my room, that’s productive right? right?

haaaay, i’m tired of counting days as they pass by.

haaaay, i’m gettin’ numb (and dumb)…

haaaay, there’s no one to talk to, and even there’s anyone, they wont understand, and who cares by the way?

haaaay, i ain’t longing to win in this rat race, i just want to have LIFE…

… of my own (of course).

note:

if u’re wondering what’s with the title? hmmmm… wala lang trip ko lang

Craigslists has been a big part on my job hunting chuvaness eklavu these days. Luckily i found one but i’m still thinking about it coz i know my dad will not allow me to work coz of the fact that i’ll be riding subways everyday and probably everynight to go to work and coming back home. Also he just want me to review for my upcoming NCLEX.

But duh… I’m fcukin’ bored! And i also need the money.

I don’t know. Haaaaay, this day just sucks.

Time flies, luckily i managed to survive and cope as well. It’s been 5 months since i left Phils… oh well maybe i should stop counting coz it’s nonsense, next month it will be six months, another month it would be seven and so on. I’m getting tired counting days for useless reminiscin’. Honestly, i’m getting used with the life here, and i can say i’m loving it. I was once a stranger on a strange land but not anymore. Block by block, i am building my life here and if i’m correct i already had a stable base to start with. As days pass by, i’m learning to see what’s beyond and not what’s behind and hopefully i’m right.

I should be less impulsive and more dynamic this year.

I was once lost, maybe a dozen of times, but i’m still here alive and kicking ass (harhar). This year should be my year or a fair year at least.

By the way, i’m jobless again. **sigh** but i’m not hopeless. I’ll post an update as soon as i get a new (and better paying) one. Pray for me.

Welcome 2006.